What the hell Silas?
by DelenaKlarolineNian
Summary: This is a parody about the recent FAKE but hilarious spoiler on twitter. Damon/Elena/Silas/Stefan


_A/N: Hey guys, Im sure a lot of you heard about that hilarious but not true spoiler on twitter. The one about Silas getting Elena pregnant and all of that crap. I thought it was hilarious, so I decided to do a fanfic based on that FAKE spoiler. Its a parody, but its rated M because of all the sex talk._

Elena was sitting in the parlor waiting for Damon, when Stefan walked in.

Silas"Hi Elena! So, I was wondering, Im very horny...do you want to have sex and make babies?"

Elena blinked several times "Sorry Stefan, but thats what I have Damon for..." Elena turned towards the stairs. "...Damon! I got the handcuffs!" Elena made a move to head towards the stairs, but Silas grabbed her arm.

"please Elena. A guy who has been locked in a cave for 2000 years, has needs. I haven't had sex in 2000 fucking years!"

"What the hell are you talking about" Elena asked confused.

His eyes widened "I mean, not 2000 years...um...Im drunk, you see. I say stupid shit when Im drunk" he started laughing.

"Elena"

I turned around to see Damon come up behind me and kissed me. "brother" Damon said looking at Stefan.

"Damon, would you quit cockblocking me?" Silas asked.

"only fair, you've been cockblocking me for the past two years buddy" Damon said smirking. He turned back towards Elena "I heard something about handcuffs. Are you trying to go 50 Shades of Grey on me?"

Elena laughed "you wish" Elena said taking Damon's hand and leading him back upstairs.

Silas sighed and walked over to the bar and poured himself a drink. Thats when Katherine walked inside.

"Stefan, I need a drink" Katherine said annoyed.

Silas smirked but nodded. He was succeeding at fooling everyone thinking he was Stefan. "whats got your panties in a bunch?"

Katherine furrowed her brows "wow, thats very...Damon of you to say, but have you forgotten that Im human?"

Silas's smirk faded "wh-what?" He was suppose to take the cure not Katherine. Then, his smirk came back. She was a doppelganer still. He could get her pregnant.

"Hey, Katherine..." Silas stopped when he heard the moans coming from upstairs. "...OK, Im not going to lie, Im so turned on right now"

"me to, lets go upstairs?"

"Of course, want to make babies?" Silas asked excitedly.

"Vampires can't procreate dumbass! Now, no, you just ruined the mood. You should have taken the cure when you had the chance, idiot!" Katherine said picking up her purse and leaving.

Silas sighed "well, Im screwed" Silas said as he walked up to Damon and Elena's room and opened the door.

"wow, you guys have no idea how turned on I am" Silas said smirking.

"STEFAN!" Elena said pulling the covers over her and Damon.

"Stef, get out of her before I kill you" Damon said rolling off Elena.

"want to have a threesome?" Silas asked smirking.

"Stef, did you go all ripper?" Damon asked.

"No, this is my true self but Im very horny, can we please have a threesome so I can get Elena pregnant and be reunited with my one true love" Silas smiled.

"Stef, what the fuck are you on?" Damon asked annoyed.

"nothing, Im just really horny, is there something wrong with being very horny?" Silas said walking towards the bed. Elena picked up her bra and panties and put them on.

"Stefan, I told you, only Damon is allowed to get me pregnant"

"but Elena, 2000 years...I mean however many months I spent screwing Klaus while you were probably dreaming of screwing my brother"

"Okay, Stefan, I don't know what fucked idiot compelled you but Elena and I were busy, quit cockblocking me, or Ill cockblock you when you and Caroline finally let all your sexual frustrations out on each other"

"hmm, wouldn't that be another love triangle in this god forsaken town?" Silas asked rolling his eyes. He looked over at Elena and saw her in her shorts and Damon's button up shirt.

"well duh, I hear people are starting to hate our love triangle and the Tyler-Caroline-Klaus love triangle, so we need a new one to keep them entertained." Damon smirked.

"hmm, but if I screw Caroline, Klaus will dump me" Silas said frowning. "Plus, I ship him and Caroline hardcore, did I tell you that?"

"yeah...your seriously hi" Damon said.

"Im...going away...for a while" Elena said and turned to Damon and mouthed 'I love you' to him. He nodded and mouthed it back.

"Now, Stef, let me get dressed so this conversation won't be that awkward." Damon said picking up his pants and putting them on.

"So..." Damon found himself slammed against the wall.

"Now, your going to let me screw your girlfriend, so I can get her pregnant and be reunited with my one true love, got it?!"

"Si-Silas" Damon choked out.

"wow, you catch on fast...I always knew you were the smartest one out of all of these people" Silas said.

"you...touch...Elena, and...I will rip your heart out...and shove it down your throat" Damon said gasping for air.

"yeah, sorry but like I said, I've gone 2000 years without blood and sex, those are needs for a vampire"

"Silas, wheres my brother...you psychic freak!"

"somewhere...what do you always say to him...grooming his hair...at the bottom of a lake or something like that...oh! You know that movie Finding Nemo? Well, call it Finding Stefan" Silas dropped Damon and ran out of the house.

Once Damon got his strength back "Elena!"

"Damon, whats wrong?" Elena asked. Damon was about to hug her but stopped "Elena, is this really you?"

"Damon...of course it is, wh-whats going on?" Elena said walking closer to Damon who backed up.

"Silas, that was Silas not Stefan"

Elena's eyes widened "wh-what? So, he wants to rape me, why?"

"I don't know, but he could pretend to be me, so...I can't believe Im saying this, but we shouldn't have sex for a while"

Elena's eyes widened "hell no, I can't do that!"

Damon smirked "just for a while, unless you have a way of telling whether or not its me or Silas, I say, we do that promise ring thing or whatever they call it these days"

"Or, we could just simply forget about it, and go back to using those handcuffs" Elena said seductively.

"yeah, Im so turned on right now, but I don't want you to turn out to be Silas" he said smirking.

"Damon?"

Damon furrowed his brows and turned around to see Elena. His eyes widened and he turned back around to see Elena still standing there smirking. "I have to admit Damon, I was very curious to see how good you are in bed. Your very popular in the vampire species when it comes down to whos better in bed"

"Silas?" Elena asked, her eyes widened.

"yes, Elena. Now, I know, I have 2000 years to make up for, but I need to practice my bed skills and I need to make a baby with a doppelganger"

"this is very awkward, myself is telling me they want to fuck me" Elena said.

"please, Elena?" Silas said giving away my puppy dog face.

"oh my god! Do I really look that stupid when I make that face?!" Elena asked screaming.

"I don't know, but Im still very turned on" Damon said.


End file.
